Let's all get a grip.

Before we begin our regularly-scheduled programming, I'd like to thank yesterday's first commenter for helping to settle the debate between the Slanket and the Snuggie. Thank you, anonymous. :)

Now "Get a Grip" because it's time for today's infomercial!




Oh no! (As in, Oh no! My voice is already annoying and it's only two seconds in!)
Ouch! (As in, Ouch! I just got fired for being obnoxious.)

"Sounds like you need to get a grip! While you're doing that, I'm gonna take over your job because clearly you are not cut out for infomercial voiceovers!"

I'm not sure who exactly they are pandering to with this one. I mean, I was with them at the beginning (especially the Super Strong label with the shot of the bare torso of a muscular man--don't think I don't know what you advertisers are up to), but then they had to go and show that ladder. On the yacht.

Is that their way of telling us we can't afford their product unless we can afford a yacht?

BUT, yacht message aside, I feel like this one just doesn't work in my mind. My immature mind.
Why?

Go back to 0:48. "Anywhere you need temporary assistance."

.....Like, when I'm sitting on the toilet? What kind of assistance are we implying?

But wait, do you feel like someone you care about needs assistance also? Great! If you call RIGHT NOW and pay two times what this product is worth, we'll throw in a second one FREE! How generous are we?

That is a very convincing testimonial, though. I think I feel safe and confident knowing you feel safe and confident getting in and out of the shower.

Just make sure you remove the Get a Grip before having company over, or they make ask you why you've got a telephone in your bathtub.