Cinderella's Tupperware.

Originally I was going to post Debbie Meyer Green Bags today, but I stumbled upon this little fairy tale of an infomercial and thought it best to share it right away.




"Are you tired of scrubbing away at those nasty food storage containers that have been sitting in your refrigerator for months because the people you live with are too lazy to throw them out? Do you slave away over the grinding noises of the kitchen sink, desperately trying to dispose of last week's casserole before your evil stepmother finds out? ARE YOU LIVING YOUR DISMAL LITTLE LIFE IN BLACK AND WHITE?

"Never fear, Fairy Godfather is here to make all your wishes come true! POOF! Your bleak, gray life is now a vibrant, colorful world full of wonderful things! Why? Because you've got the LockFresh! It's everything you've ever dreamed of and more.

"Let me extol the numerous virtues of this wondrous product! It's really great. You just put the top on and pump the air out to seal it. It's just that easy! Which is exactly why I'm going to keep talking about how easy and great it is for another minute and a half, just to make sure you've got the idea. See, once you've removed all the air, it keeps the food fresh. Isn't that wonderful? Then, once you're tired of eating leftovers, you can just clear them out and pop the containers in the dishwasher. AND they're microwave safe! How awesome is that? I think I need to keep talking about it! No more need for flimsy bags or cling wrap that doesn't cling. Now you can have the LockFresh! It's--

"....Wait, are you asleep? You fell asleep during my spiel? Seriously? Why did I even come here? I thought you wanted help. I mean, sure, I could've just given you some shoes and a fancy dress and told you to be home by midnight, but I thought I'd give you something you could actually use. I was even going to throw in a 17-piece culinary set and some marinating recipes, but obviously you're just not interested.

"You're still not listening, are you? I could be insulting you right now, and you'd never know it. WAKE UP! THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!

"Seriously? Do I have the wrong house? I could have sworn the door outside said Cinderella. If this is some kind of joke, and you're really Sleeping Beauty or Snow White, I'd really appreciate it if you'd point me in the right direction. Not that you'll ever hear me talking to you over your SNORING.

"...You know what? I give up. You just go back to living in black and white. See if I care. Have fun with the rotten food in your fridge."

(Seriously, though, did any of you start to just completely zone out during this commercial? I mean, it was only two minutes long but I felt like it took FOREVER.)