Speak up, sonny!

What do you do when it's hard to hear, but you don't want to miss hearing a word?
Uh, get a hearing aid?
WRONG!



You get yourself a Loud 'n' Clear!
Why pay thousands of dollars for highly sensitive and technologically advanced hearing aids that are now so small you can barely see them? Now there's the Loud 'n' Clear! This over-sized bluetooth-resembling hearing enhancer will make everyday life beautiful again! That's right, I'm talking Bingo games, nature walks, Euchre games with the other retirement home residents -- all the things you could ever need!

But WAIT, you're not elderly and you're feeling INCREDIBLY jealous of your grannie because she's got an awesome Loud 'n' Clear? No problem! You can have one too! That's right, Loud 'n' Clear is fantastic for eavesdropping! Privacy is sooo three days ago. No one will ever notice the big sound amplifier attached to your ear.
(Please note: Loud 'n' Clear does not condone eavesdropping in any way. We are not responsible for any slaps in the face, ruined relationships, and crushed self-esteem caused by your usage of the Loud 'n' Clear.)

I rewrote a classic fairy tale just in honor of the Loud 'n' Clear:

Why, grannie, what big glasses you have!
The better to SEE you with, my dear.
And grannie, what a big hearing device you have!
The better to HEAR you with, my dear.
And grannie, what big...um, gums you have?
Hold that thought, my dear, I have to go hobble over to my dentures.
Right. You know, Grannie, here's that basket of goodies. I'm just gonna leave them on the table.

Little did "Grannie" know that Red Riding Hood was actually not an idiot, and therefore could see that her grandma was suddenly covered from head to foot with wolfy fur. As if wearing Grannie's Loud 'n' Clear could cover THAT up. So, she went and found a woodsmen, who was using HIS Loud 'n' Clear to detect the wildlife, and together they hunted down the grannie-devouring wolf.

Don't you love happy endings?

(By the way, does anyone else love how they use the same clips over and over again?)